The Danger Room Dairies
by Ivan Alias
Summary: Lexy writes her thoughts about a week with the Danger Room -inspired by Car Talk


As is to be expected from such poor people as us humble writers, I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wrote this fic because it seemed to me as if Lexy was playing second fiddle in the other fics I had.  
  
Also, Piter is not Colossus. He is an OC. Just wanted to make that clear.  
  
Day 1  
  
Due to Jean's wishes - i.e. we were told to do this or die - Eva, Piter, Dean and I have started a 'Danger Room' Diary. It's the first time we've seen this room, and man, it's impressive. Holographic projectors, and enough unfoldy bits to make a transformer envious. We were told to go through a small assault course. As we were newbies to it, it wasn't anything too impressive.  
  
We spent about four hours in it, and apparently had run three miles within it. It didn't seem too hard to me, I can't see why some of the other X-Men want to destroy it and sow the grounds with salt, but eh, they're probably just being cry-babies.  
  
Day 2  
  
It took about three cups of coffee to get me up this morning, but I made it to the DR. Jean was being nice enough, showed us our previous course results, then decided to 'up the pace', as she said it.  
  
So I was running along as usual, when this gun pops out of the wall, and starts firing at us. A gun, for God's sake. The good news was that Dean managed to disable it by pulling the plug on it. The bad news is that by that time, it had hit me roughly five times. A felt as if a tram had hit me.  
  
When I got back up, I realised I had to make the course in under twenty seconds. By some form of a miracle, I managed to run it in nineteen seconds. That felt good. I can see why people say exercise increases your stamina.  
  
Day 3  
  
The only way I could brush my teeth this morning was by laying the brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I could open the shower curtain only by using my toes. Walking was alright, as long as I didn't try to lift my feet.  
  
To eat my breakfast, I needed Amara's help to lift the spoon to my mouth, open my mouth and assist my chewing. Whoever thought that oatmeal could be so challenging in the morning?  
  
I managed to reach the DR just as the others were about to enter it. They didn't seem to be too bothered by this work-out, the lucky so-and-sos. Jean was slightly impatient with me and told me my screaming was putting off the other three.  
  
Day 4  
  
Jean was waiting with her face in her patented scowl. I couldn't help it if I was half-an-hour late, it took me that long just to get my bedcovers off me. She said she wanted us to practise fighting with robotic dummies. Not a chance said I; the word 'dummy' must be there for a reason. I decided to hide under a robot that Eva had ripped in half. Piter responded by firing a laser at me. 'It was still moving' he said. Well, I now know who to use that bottle of cyanide I have on.  
  
When I got out the DR, I felt like death beaten up, trampled on, run over as well as warmed up. To get up the stairs to get to my room, I had to physically lift my legs for each step. Not a problem, until I realised I had no strength in my arms.  
  
Day 5  
  
I HATE JEAN GREY MORE THAN ANY PERSON ON THIS PLANET! IF THERE WAS NOT ONE PART OF MY BODY IN EXTREME PAIN, I WOULD HIT HER WITH IT! I'M USING THAT 'DEEP HEAT' CREAM, ON MY EYES. MY EYES! MY TOENAILS HURT! MY HAIR HURTS! MY CLOTHES HURT FOR GOD'S SAKE!  
  
Day 6  
  
I heard Jean hammering on the door, telling me to get up. I feigned death until she went away, apparently fooled. Truthfully, I didn't need much convincing of my death. If I wasn't dead, I must've been in Hell. I tried to get up to get my clothes, but ended up on the floor for fifteen consecutive hours. Still couldn't lift my arms, so I am writing this using my teeth. Lacked the leg power to get up, so fell asleep using the rug as a bed.  
  
Day 7  
  
Well, that's the week. Thank Christ it's over. Maybe next time I'll take up a hobby to get out of the DR, like planning a variety of ways to kill Jean and/or the DR without raising suspicion, although Kitty's recommendation of conservation sounds good. Now I can blow up Jean's SUV, and claim I was doing it to save the ozone layer.  
  
Piter made fun of my less than appealing appearance. Lacked the strength to come up with a retort, so I ended up head butting him in the teeth. That felt good.  
  
R&R 


End file.
